What Had Happened Was {Part Uno}

SOOOO.... How's it going?

Well hmmm... I took a little bloggy break-- an almost 6 month break! I cannot believe it's been that long-- but it has.

I stopped blogging I stopped tweeting {for a bit} and I have an amazing reason why... I won the lottery.

Okay…. that was a fib if you follow me on Twitter you know that's a huge fib. Truthfully I had to step back.

Life just happened, I had a ton of things pop up.

We did find a new family member and having a puppy is like having a baby!  I will do a whole post on the {new} other man in my life.

We had a big... let down!  We were suppose to move to Seattle Washington and well that didn't happen {I’ll post on that too}.

 I was so ready to blog about our new journey to the Westcoast.

I lost one of the most amazing men in my life my <3 grandpa.  

It was hard to lose him and not be there to console my Mama <3.

Tons of things happened I took pictures in hopes to share right here. Things I’m so proud of like my eldest daughter winning student council president and baby girl graduating Kindergarten.

I also needed to focus.  I was starting to let my schoolwork slip and I just cannot do that.

And then the biggest thing that in all honesty made me step back....

GUILT.

Overwhelming guilt.  The guilt that I'm always behind a computer, I do my schoolwork online, T2T online, and network online.... and when one of my kiddos said, "I wish mommy didn't have to be on the computer"-- it hurt.  I thought “Will this be their memory; will they remember me huddled around my Mac?”  As much as I know I give these kiddos sooo much attention, the thought of them perhaps not thinking they didn’t get it all….gaahhh.

I try not to do anything online while my kids are around.  However when I was taking my Statistics class I had to focus-- there were hours of Mama and Computer time—I worked hard for my B.  I also had to focus on the Back-to-School issue of T2T and this sometimes occurred while the kiddos were around {sigh}.

I may never be the best blogger with daily tidbits of my life or just randomness. What I will be is me slightly imperfect but genuine me.  I cannot make promises-- I'm a work in progress trying to figure things out along the way.

I love this little spot on the big ol' WWW it's all mine {muwhahaha}!   So, if I'm gone ever again for more than 3 weeks email me. Tweet me. Holla at me.  

I don't EVER want to be away from here that long again, but I never want my family to feel as though they are not numero uno.  I know they have never said that but my mommy guilt wants to make sure they have all of me or never ever feel that.  

I'm working things out organization wise and hopefully I can schedule things accordingly.  I don't believe in scheduling out one's life but I do believe I need some rhyme to my reason.  

Am I the only one who has ever felt like this?